This week we were asked to think about a disagreement or conflict we have experienced recently and share at least two strategies that might help us manage or resolve the conflict. I found this topic to be right on time to what I am experiencing in my life and to what is happening all over the world. The ability to resolve conflicts has puzzled man kind for many of years and has caused devastating effects on us all. Why are conflicts so difficult and why can't finding common ground be simple? A conflict is "a negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement" (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 220). Conflicts have to ability to create huge divides or generate positive powerful relationships. The same elements that repels us from conflict is the same element that draws us near. So how do we get to the other side of conflict where we land on the promise of resolve? This week I have become fascinated with the topic of conflict resolution and have made many discoveries but first lets look at my own personal conflict dilemma.
Last week, I engaged in a difficult conversation with my husband about household chores and responsibilities. The conversation left both of us frustrated, mad, and angry in which no resolution was found. For the life of me I couldn't figure why the conversation got so heated and how we got to a point we no compromise was made. I mean we both live in the house, we both care about making sure household responsibilities are meet, and we both have a shared investment into our relationship. Surely we should have been able to figure our some why to solve this problem. Feeling a little lost and confused to why this conversation went sour; I begin to do some studying to finds some answers. I was able to figure two strategies that could have helped me promote a climate of mutual respect and resolve. The first strategy is the use of non-violence communication which means to communicate with compassion, empathy and assume the good in people (http://www.cnvc.org). The second was the cooperative strategies which are "strategies that benefit the relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 237).
Both of these strategies require me fist to reflect on my own personal views and see how they influence my reaction to the conflict. I must identify those biases and viewpoints that prevents me from being open minded and understanding of other people perspectives when they differ from my own. I must be able to make connections with the other person and try to find commonalities between our varying perspectives. Then, I must be willing to properly evaluate the problem and figure out collectively how this conflict can be resolve where both parties feel that they are valued and appreciated. "Both participants in a conflict discuss the situation and arrive at a solutions that fully satisfies each of them, the conflict has been resolved in a win-win manner (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 245).
How do you deal with the pressures of conflict? What strategies did you discover this week that will help you improve you conflict resolution skills both professionally and personally?
Reference
How do you deal with the pressures of conflict? What strategies did you discover this week that will help you improve you conflict resolution skills both professionally and personally?
Reference
O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.
The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/
