Conflict Resolution

This week we were asked to think about a disagreement or conflict we have experienced recently and share at least two strategies that might help us manage or resolve the conflict. I found this topic to be right on time to what I am experiencing in my life and to what is happening all over the world. The ability to resolve conflicts has puzzled man kind for many of years and has caused devastating effects on us all. Why are conflicts so difficult and why can't finding common ground be simple? A conflict is "a negative interaction between two or more interdependent people, rooted in some actual or perceived disagreement" (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 220). Conflicts have to ability to create huge divides or generate positive powerful relationships. The same elements that repels us from conflict is the same element that draws us near. So how do we get to the other side of conflict where we land on the promise of resolve? This week I have become fascinated with the topic of conflict resolution and have made many discoveries but first lets look at my own personal conflict dilemma.

Last week, I engaged in a difficult conversation with my husband about household chores and responsibilities. The conversation left both of us frustrated, mad, and angry in which no resolution was found. For the life of me I couldn't figure why the conversation got so heated and how we got to a point  we no compromise was made. I mean we both live in the house, we both care about making sure household responsibilities are meet, and we both have a shared investment into our relationship. Surely we should have been able to figure our some why to solve this problem. Feeling a little lost and confused to why this conversation went sour; I begin to do some studying to finds some answers. I was able to figure two strategies that could have helped me promote a climate of mutual respect and resolve. The first strategy is the use of non-violence communication which means to communicate with compassion, empathy and assume the good in people (http://www.cnvc.org). The second was the cooperative strategies which are "strategies that benefit the relationship, serve mutual rather than individual goals, and strive to produce solutions that benefit both parties (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 237). 

Both of these strategies require me fist to reflect on my own personal views and see how they influence my reaction to the conflict. I must identify those biases and viewpoints that prevents me from being open minded and understanding of other people perspectives when they differ from my own. I must be able to make connections with the other person and try to find commonalities between our varying perspectives. Then, I must be willing to properly evaluate the problem and figure out collectively how this conflict can be resolve where both parties feel that they are valued and appreciated. "Both participants in a conflict discuss the situation and arrive at a solutions that fully satisfies each of them, the conflict has been resolved in a win-win manner (O'Hair and Wiemann, 2012, pg. 245).

How do you deal with the pressures of conflict? What strategies did you discover this week that will help you improve you conflict resolution skills both professionally and personally? 

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/

Communication Profile

For this week blog assignment we had to take three test; each test evaluated my communication skills in three areas: verbal aggressions, listening style, and communication anxiety. I selected to people to evaluate me as well my sister in-law and my brother. I selected the both of them because I thought it would be interesting to see how they would rate me because of our diverse relationship. I am older then my brother by three years and he is also the youngest child. I wanted to see how he would rate me since I am his big sister and sent most of my life bossing him around. Whereas my sister in-law and I have a very different relationship. We communicate often and spend lots of time with each other, she is in the early childhood field, a teacher, and we have common interests. I also wanted to see if how their husband and wife relationship might reflect in the evaluation scores.  

When I took the tests I scored a 31 on the communication anxiety, my listening style is group 1, and my verbal aggression score was 67 (Runbin, 2009a) (Runbin, 2009b). These scores tells me that feel comfortable communicating with others, I'm empathic to needs and desire of others, I can be too trusting, and that I maintain a good balance with respecting others viewpoint (Runbin, 2009a) (Runbin, 2009b). When my sister in-law took the assessment I fell in the same categories for all areas. Surprisingly, when my brother took the assessments he scored me in the same categories except in the verbal aggression we he scored me in the moderate category (Runbin, 2009a). I was shocked about that because I thought that my brother would rate me as having poor communications skills across the board. Don't get me wrong we have a great relationship but we also play a lot with each other and pick on one another and I thought that aspect of our relationship would impact his interpretation of my communication style. 

I know that I put in extra effort to ensure that I am communicating effectively in a professional setting but when I'm around family I don't make the same conscience effort. I was shocked to now that my family feels that my communication style is effective and that I have learned communication skills that translate in both my personal and professional life.

Reference

• Communication Measures: Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009a). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.
• • "Communication Anxiety Inventory"
  • "Verbal Aggressiveness Scale"
    Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Routledge via the Copyright Clearance Center.
• Communication Measure: Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009b). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.
• • "Listening Styles Profile-16" 
    Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Taylor & Francis via the Copyright Clearance Center.

Communication and Diversity

When communicating with others from diverse background I do communicate differently, especially if there is a language barrier. If I discovered that I will use more nonverbal communication gestures to convey the messages I want people to know. I want to make sure I am approachable so I smile and maintain eye contact. I make sure that I listen and watch closely for any nonverbal communication that may help me to understand the direction of the conversation to make sure that we both understand each other.

When communicate with children from diverse backgrounds I try to use visual clues as well as words if there is a language barrier. This is helpful for second language learners and gives them the ability to make visual connections to English words. For me I gain the ability to make personal connections and help build positive communication exchanges with the child. Sometimes that child will express the name of the object I am showing them in their native language, which I find very useful and I get to learn new words as well.

I found this video that I think does a great job of how ridiculous ineffective communication can be. Through it's comedic expression it makes us aware of how easy it is to fall in the trap of stereotypes and the importance of developing appropriate communications skills.

   

Nonverbal Communication: About a Boy with no sound

For this assignment, again consider what you have been learning about communication skills and styles. Then record an episode of a television show you do not normally watch. Watch the show with the sound turned off.

What do you think the characters' relationships are based on the ways in which they are communicating?  What are they feeling and expressing based on the nonverbal behavior you are observing?

The program I watched is About a Boy

The boy came home very excited to tell his mother and his neighbor information.  I could tell he was excited because he was very animated when talking to them using his hand and facial expressions to communicate his eagerness.  He had smiles on his face and used his hands wildly while talking.  The mother goes to the school and gets nervous when she sees the teacher.  She crosses her arms and when going in for a handshake she extends her arm but pulls her body away. This let me know that she that she was nervous meeting the teacher and did not feel comfortable. Next, the mother met up with another lady and based on how the greeted each other, with a hug and a smile; I assumed they were good friends. The friend tried to tell her something but without sound I could not tell what she trying saying. I looked at the mother to try and read her facial expressions but very shortly after receiving the message she saw the teacher and her facial expression immediately change. She started twirling her hair and bounce slightly up and down. I can tell that the dynamic between her and the teacher male is oddly intense.

Then, the mother and the teacher met up with each at a restaurant and she still is exhibiting nervous energy however the teacher seems calm. He calmly smiles at her and has such a peaceful and pleasant posture with his shoulders back appearing to open and receptive towards her. They talk for a while more, the teacher removes his jacket and the mother removes hers as well. Then he grabs her hand and the mother begins the blush. This interaction led me to believe that there was a romantic relationship developing between to two of them and maybe the nervous energy that the mother displayed when they first met is because she was romantically attracted to him. Moments, later during the dinner more women shows up and the teacher stand up and greets each one in a very friendly way by giving them a hugs and kiss in the cheek. The mother immediately puts back on her jacket, covers up, and hunches over like as if she wished she could disappear. Her reaction made me feel that she felt like she missed read their romantic connection.

 Later, in the show they are all at a play which is at the boy’s school. The boy and another young girl who was in the play walk off stage before the curtains opens. I’m not sure why the children walked off stage, I notice that the girl looked at a structure on stage said something to the boy and walked away and he followed her. So the mother and the teacher went on stage and acted out the scene. However the structure that the mother was on was not structurally sounds so the neighbor who designed the structure ran on stage and held it up. The interaction between the three of them was wired and awkward but the crowd thought it was hilarious. They were laughing hysterically, standing out of their seats, talking with one another, and pointing towards the stage. Once the curtain closed, the mother, the neighbor, and the teacher started talking. Then the mother and the teacher walk off to talk privately; the neighbor is left standing there and his has a disappointed look on his face. This made me think that the neighbor is romantically interested in the mother and is jealous of her infatuation with the teacher. The mother leaves and the teacher make an announcement to the kids and all the kids cheer raising their hands showing excitement. Another little girl walks up to the boy and says something to him and after they talk he walks up to the neighbor and they begin to talk but he dismisses something that the neighbors says because he takes his hand swipes up and down. In the final scene, that boy and the neighbor are playing watching the Three Stogies, they started acting out scenes from the show, laughing and playing together it is evident that they share a closed bond like a friendship.   

Now, watch the show with the sound turned on.

What assumptions did you make about the characters and plot based on the ways in which you interpreted the communication you observed?  Would your assumptions have been more correct if you had been watching a show you know well?

Some of the assumptions I made was that they mother is insure and has romantic problems. She seems to be romantically interested in the teacher however struggles in reading if he feels the same way for her. The teacher seems easy going, friendly, and very open to communicate with anyone which makes it difficult for others to know where they stand with him. The neighbor and the boy are clearly friends despite their age gap. I also assume that the neighbor is interested in the mom romantically but has really comes to terms with her true feelings.

I was surprised how well, I was able to read the characters based solely off their nonverbal communication. I think that I was able to find out more about their characters then if the sound was on. I do not think that my assumptions would have been more accurate if I had watched a show I know already. I feel that having too much information might influence my perception of their nonverbal communication and I might miss important gestures. I discovered that without sound you have to focus more on body language and facial expressions rather than just what they are saying out of their mouth. They could be using words that do not truly convey how they feel but reading their nonverbal communication told me more then what they said alone.  

A Competent Communicator

This week's blog assignment challenged me to think of someone who demonstrates competent communication within a particular context. I was also asked to explain the behaviors that this person exhibit that make them effective and what I want to model in my own communication style. I selected President Barack Obama because he is known for his effective communication skills and the ability to speak elegantly. I admire the President because he is able to provoke passion, hope, and determination in other and I would like to be just as powerful in my fight to help young children and their families receive equity in early childhood education. I will be able to transcend messages of equality, justice, and fairness to other childhood professionals in the hopes that it inspires them in their work with young children. I would also use this platform to encourages businesses and organizations to invest in early childhood education as away to yield profitable gains in the future through providing fundamental needs of young children. My hope is to process the ability to calmly, confidently, and eloquently address large crowds of people just like Present Obama does with ease. Below is a link that look closer at the effective communication skills the President uses to be a competent communicator. 

Professional Hopes and Goals

One hope that I have for children and their families of diverse backgrounds, is that they know that they are a welcomed, valued contributor to the education and development of their child, and that they bring a wealth of knowledge and experiences that will enhance the overall production of the community (Laureate Education, 2011). It is my goal to facilitate this process through modeling theories and practice of anti-basis education in my classroom, providing professional development opportunities for staff, and reaching out to the community aiding in organizations and institutions that support families of diverse backgrounds (Derman-Sparks, 2010). This is important to me because because young children are developing a sense of who they are from the people around them (Derman-Sparks, 2010). Children's self-identity is first established at home and they fostered with in the communities and institutions outside the home (Derman-Sparks, 2010). Early childhood professionals have a responsibility to ensure that children's unique and diverse cultures are respected and valued so that the child understands that they are important to the world. When children develop this understanding they build a sense of high esteem and identify themselves positively. Through this process early childhood professionals provide an equitable experience for all children and their families and become a contributor of social justice. 

To my colleagues, I would first like to thank you for helping my grow both personally and professionally, I have enjoyed reading your blog and discussion posts. You have challenged my understanding and encouraged me to think deep and make connections. It is through form of exchange that growth happens. I appreciate the time and energy you have put into helping me develop professionally. This is the type of collaboration needed to improve the educational experiences we provide for young children. I provided a short video that illustrates just how powerful collaboration can when creating an anti-basis curriculum. This video demonstrates all the values skills, principals, and theories we addressed in this course and brings it all together in an early child professional setting. This is a must watch video!

References:
Derman-Sparks, L., & Edwards, J. O. (2010). Anti-bias education for young children and ourselves. Washington, DC: National Association for the Education of Young Children (NAEYC)

Laureate Education (Producer). (2011). Family cultures: Dynamic interactions [Video file]. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu

Welcoming Families From Around the World

For this assignment, imagine the following scenario:

You are working in an early childhood setting of your choice—a hospital, a childcare center, a social service agency. You receive word that the child of a family who has recently emigrated from a country you know nothing about will join your group soon. You want to prepare yourself to welcome the child and her family. Luckily, you are enrolled in a course about diversity and have learned that in order to support families who have immigrated you need to know more than surface facts about their country of origin.

The name of “your” family’s country of origin

For this assignment, I would like to imagine that my child and their family are from Egypt and that I am welcoming the family in to my classroom.

At least five ways in which you will prepare yourself to be culturally responsive towards this family

1. I would contact the family and ask them a few questions about some of their values, beliefs, hopes and dreams for their child and their family.
2. I would plan activities and lessons that encourage the family to share special artifacts, family photos, language, literature, music, and food that have deep personal meaning to the family. 
3. I would introduce the family to classroom prior to their first day by having the children meet by Skype and including a short introduction of the family in our class news letter. 
4. I would increase the about of times that I check in with the family ensuring that they feel comfortable and address any issues that may have come up, immediately. 
5. I would talk to the children about whom to make new friends and explain ways to make people feel welcomed. 

A brief statement describing in what ways you hope that these preparations will benefit both you and the family

My goal is to create a classroom environment that embraces the family’s culture and not their implied surface culture based off what see from the media. I want my current students to understand and build a connection with the child and their family before they arrive which is why I think having a couple of meeting via Skype would be a great way for the students to start preparing themselves for our new family. I want the family to feel that they are apart of the school and the classroom so providing them with opportunities to be apart of the learning process lets them know that they are valuable contributors to our learning community. Checking in with the family, frequently, will let them know that they have an alley to confide in and that they are supported. They will be able to address any issues that may make them feel powerless, marginalized, or discriminated against.